i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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