drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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