im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
