Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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