i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
