did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
