Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
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Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
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