he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
