sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
MIDGETS
????
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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