I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
