My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
