But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
