just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
