There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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