Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
