Duck Duck Cougar?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
