Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you have to choose: penises or morals?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird

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(941): View more from Florida

Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.

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(391): View more from

She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once

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(415): View more from California

The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.

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