So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
