Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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