Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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