butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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