My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
