1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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