The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
