The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?