I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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