I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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