I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
