Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
