"it" just moved
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
