I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
the liver wants what the liver wants
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
