I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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