This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize