The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize