yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
