I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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