new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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