Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and you said cock pushups were impossible
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
