Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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