I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He is an equal opportunity slut.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis