Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.