is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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