I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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