Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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