Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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