Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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