woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
