We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
