Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The air was thick with penises
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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