If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
