SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
