You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
