i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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