I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
