We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have fence marks all over my body
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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