My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
