This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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