we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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