So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
